In the September issue of Essence magazine there is an article about a controversial book called ‘Marriage for White People? How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone. ‘ written by Ralph Richard Banks. In the book Bank’s, who is a black male, encourages black women to “cross the color lines” when looking for marriage partners for practical reasons. Stating that with higher educated black women than men it makes it more difficult for successful black marriages due to inequality in earning power and education. The article further went on to feature four interracial couples with black women and a partner of a different race.
While I found the article very interesting, I couldn’t help but feel troubled about the message it says/sends about black males. I find there are so many stereotypes and negative images about black males as it is without someone, especially another black male, writing a book to further perpetuate those images. When I think of black men I see my father, my brother, my uncles cousins, and close friends who I think are successful in their own right and of high marriage material (especially my brother, he’s single ladies 
and I find it demeaning to them. That being said the article did get me to thinking about some things. Mainly, if we say we only want to date one particular race, our own or otherwise, are we limiting ourselves in the quest for the right partner?
It was not a conscious decision on my part to date my husband, quite the opposite in fact. We were good friends and roommates and over time we fell in love. I didn’t think much about his race he was just someone who was so good to me, who I had so much fun with and who truly loved me unconditionally. When it came to marriage I did have some apprehension in thinking about raising a biracial child and what kind of affect that would have on them, but ultimately I know he was the perfect match for me and we could overcome any obstacle.
I do know some people though that say they “stick to their own kind” or actually prefer men/women of a certain ethnicity. What do you think? Did you make a conscious decision to only date a particular race or did love just find you? did you think about any issues that may arise in raising a biracial child?
The article really was an interesting read, check it out if you get the chance.
